You think you know what they are for and you are probably right but once you ch eck into a European hotel and see one I’m willing to bet you second guess yourself. Right there next to the toilet and despite the lack of room for a shower in the same space your hotel has provided you with the wondrously confusing contraption, the bidet.
Now I know the fact that I am writing on this topic is going to point out my ignorance.
You may just think I’m down right stupid, a short sighted American maybe. The truth is, these little solutions to sanitation are not as straight forward as one may think to someone who has never experienced one (and I use the term “experienced” loosely). Almost every American I have traveled with has said the same thing; “they are for washing your vagina…duh!”. Yet once they turn the knob and the water begins to pour 
out into the basin, an invariable look of contemplation crosses their faces and their tone of certainty changes; “even if it is for washing your vagina, how the hell do you use it comfortably and effectively?”
Well, to start from the beginning bidet is French and as you may know or can guess it is pronounced bē-dā (bid-day) . Humorously, (at least it got an immature chuckle out of me) bidet means “a small saddle horse”. This I can only guess, or trust wikipedia, to come from the way one is supposed to straddle the porcelain pony when attempting to use it. F
ound in most hotels or homes in Italy, Greece, Spain and often in many other European countries the bidet comes in a couple different styles. There is the, jet of water shoots directly up from the bottom of the bowl variety (like a drinking fountain) and for the more adventurous, the 
spicket variety that looks a lot like a sink/ toilet. It is this latter kind that troubles me the most because it would seem that one is really just supposed to fill the basin up with water and hover over it lapping water onto their nether regions until clean. The nozzle does not seem to shoot water at a “convenient” angle and if your not careful you could shoot a jet of water between your legs and straight across the room. The former variety, I must admit, just scares me.
On a few occasions my friends and I have stood around one of these bidets and contemplated uses. Freshening up after using the toilet of course was a likely possibility but as I mentioned it just looked 
uncomfortable and awkward. What about washing one’s feet? This seemed a bit more practical but still the design didn’t seem to suit such a use. Dogs often drink from the toilet bowl right? Well why not give them one of their own that refills with clean water at the turn of the faucet. This must be more sanitary than having them plunge their heads into the family head. The chances of it being an odd foreign urinal were slim. There was a toilet right next to it. Perhaps dare I say, it was the perfect size to wash a small child in…
As it turns out the bidet was designed to hose off your backside and genitals after using the toilet but it has served many uses. Including all of the above uses the bidet kind of acts as a s
mall sink. The lack of its popularity in the States is probably from its inherent (at least I think inherent) characteristic of being a rather unsanitary form of hygiene. The variety that has a water jet pointed towards the ceiling from the base of the bowl for example, will by design attempt to clean your soiled bottom with water passing through the “soil” falling from your bottom.
For me, I just tend to steer clear of them when traveling. You may want to try these out, you may not. I suggest however that you don’t try and save a few bucks and wash your dirty clothes in one. In any case you can now tell you travel partner what that odd little toilet in the bathroom is used for or, you can let them figure it out all on their own.
