Letter To The Editor: young women travelers

hello there – stumbled upon your website and found it very informative. i’m the mother of a high school senior who is begging me and her father to let her accompany her four high school friends
to europe after high school graduation – for a month. we’ve travelled a lot as a family and we’ve been to europe several times but she has never travelled on her own, and neither have any of her
friends. i have a LOT of concerns, having done the whole backpack- around-europe in my youth (late 1970′s) as far as safety is concerned. i don’t feel these girls have any idea about the amount
of attention they’ll get (quite a bit of it unwanted). And of course there’s always drugs and alcohol.. It’s everywhere, it’s at their high school, but I think the whole scene in europe is more
accessible, which for me means more dangerous. I know you’re seeing backpacking europe from a male perspective – what do your female backpacker friends have to say in terms of what to watch out for – the pitfalls of being a female backpacking through Europe? I sound
like my parents, but it’s true, things aren’t like they used to be. The world is definitely a scarier place.

Anyway, like your blog a lot. Thanks.

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Thanks for the wonderful comments you made about my site.

In terms of your daughter traveling around Europe. First, having 4 friends with her is going to make all the difference. You don’t see a lot of solo female travelers and fewer still who are just out of high school. Having her go with the group would take a lot of worry out of the whole situation. Second, where might they be going? England, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and even Spain and Italy to a lesser extent (but nothing I would worry about beyond looks and “hey baby” type remarks) are not going to pose much of an issue. When you start heading into eastern Europe, Hungary, Croatia maybe even Czech republic you can run into more “male dominated” societies where looks and suggestions may be a bit more persistent. Still, traveling with a group of friends I think the biggest worry should be crossing a street in Italy without being hit by a local driver…I’m just joking- I don’t want to add to your concerns

I think talking to her about what to expect in terms of “attention” would be a smart move. Perhaps discuss (or pick out) what type of clothes she will be taking with her. Leaving the club attire at home and packing jeans will ensure that the wardrobe she leaves with at least isn’t one to draw the wrong type of attention. Regarding drugs and alcohol; alcohol is going to be readily available and if or how much your daughter and her friends are going to drink is of course easier for you to pin point than I. You might want to keep an eye on how much she is spending while over there. If it starts to get

exuberant and you’re not receiving a bunch of souvenirs in the mail…it’s probably being spent on booze. You might recommend adding you onto her bank account while she is over there. This is a good idea in any case if the need arises for you to add a few extra bucks and has the wonderful consequence of being able to monitor the cash flow. Drugs are available but besides Amsterdam one would have to be seeking them out; again you know your daughter and her friends to judge that for yourself. As a guy in a big city like Madrid I sometimes hear whispers as I walk down the streets from drug dealers ( “marijuana, coke, Ecstasy?”) but they are harmless and will not pester you if you continue to walk and do not acknowledge them. The key is not to acknowledge them!! I would be inclined to think that women travelers are less likely to purchase drugs this way and they

probably don’t waste their time trying to make an illegal sale as much with them.

Suggest to her that they start a free youtube account where they post short videos of their travels. They can use most digital cameras for this and will be able to upload them at most hostels or Internet cafes very easily. This way you can monitor where they are going and how they are doing. This will not only be exciting for them to show their friends but it will ease your mind a bit to see they are doing well. Buying her an international phone card so that she always has money to call home will probably ease your mind too. Check out www.statravel.com for the international student id and phone card.

As you know I’m speaking from a male perspective but I genuinely feel safer in Europe than I do in the states most of the time. Being pick pocketed is probably what to look out for the most. The key is to just be aware of

your surroundings, know where you are and where you’re going, go with at least one friend and if somewhere looks “shady” avoid it. Have her tell you where she is staying in each city or better yet plan it out with her. I still tell someone back here in the states where I’m staying in case they need to get a hold of me or something else comes up.

For more suggestions regarding female travel in Europe you might find a travel forum like Fodors.com, bootsnall.com, bug.co.uk , or any number of them and post your questions. People will respond and generally it will be additional first hand info you can trust. If your still worried but want her to go, look into contiki tours. They are a great tour company (albeit a tad more expensive than doing it on your own) for younger kids who want to travel Europe with others their own age.